As Turman Capote would say:
This story is a work of fiction. Names, places and incidents are the
product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any
resemblance to actual events, locals, or persons, living or dead, is
coincidental.
I have been blessed to experience sexuality with an intensity that most people cannot imagine. This intensity comes from an obsession with sexual spanking. I have had many remarkable experiences in my life, but the most transcendent have involved spanking. A core part of me is intertwined with spanking. Although my inner mental life has many facets, spanking is a constant part of my inner landscape.
The curse of having a sexual obsession is that it makes relationships more difficult. Finding someone that you deeply love, who you can spend the rest of your life with, is difficult enough. Few people are able to find the love of their life who is also the other half of their sexual obsession. In the many spanking blogs on the Web, I've noticed that one of the most common difficulties that people struggle with is a partner who does not share their spanking obsession. Sometimes a partner is able to learn the language of spanking, without sharing the intense focus of the obsession. In other cases, although the couple may love each other deeply, spanking is a place they cannot meet.
I remember one woman writing to me that she confided in her lover that she wanted to be spanked during their lovemaking. She put a hairbrush on the nightstand one night when they were going to make love. Her lover brushed her hair with the brush and told her that he could never hit her with it. He loved her, he said, and could never hurt her.
Asking someone to give you a spanking can be difficult, but asking someone to take a spanking, when they don't process the pain in an erotic way, is generally an impossibility. The spanking just hurts and most spanking tops have no desire to hurt the person they are spanking.
If you cannot share your obsession with the person you love, you have three choices: you can break up and try to find someone who shares your obsession, you can live without fulfilling your obsession or you can fulfill it outside your relationship.
For those who choose to fulfill the hearts desire of their obsession outside of their relationship, women have an advantage. A woman who places a personal ad on a site like alt.com for someone to spank her will be deluged with responses. Some of these will be from jerks who send her pictures of their penis. Others may be from the clueless who demand the woman's obedience, require her to address them as Master and refer to her as bitch or cunt. In among the dross there will also be some from men who are caring and sensitive spanking tops.
If you're a man who posts a spanking personal ad that is honest about the fact that you are married, you may get no responses at all. The problem with personal ads is even worse if you are a man looking for a woman to spank you. The spanking community is strongly oriented toward male tops and female bottoms.
In our wonderful capitalist system where services emerge to fill a need, there are services that can provide some fulfillment for men looking for someone to do a spanking scene with. For a fee. One of these is Dreams Inc..
I had a Web browser bookmark for Dreams Inc. for a few years before I finally called them. The woman who answered the phone said nothing more than "hello".
"Is this Dreams Inc?", I asked.
When she said it was, I told her that I wanted to arrange a session. She then launched into her spiel about Dreams Inc..
"We specialize in fulfilling your kinky dreams, as long as they are safe and sane. Don't be embarrassed to talk to us about what you like..."
I told her that I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to arrange a Saturday session with a woman who enjoyed a medium hard spanking. We talked about several women whose profiles and pictures I had seen on the Dreams Inc. Web site. She suggested Valerie. The woman at Dreams Inc. told me that Valerie was not on their regular schedule for Saturday, but that I could email her and ask if she could do a Saturday session.
Valerie and I exchanged a few emails discussing what she liked in a spanking. Describing a spanking in writing is a bit like trying to describe hot food. Putting the heat of a spice or the pain of a spanking into words is difficult. Valerie wrote that she could take a hand spanking and I wrote back asking if she could take a paddling too. I wanted to make sure that if I pulled a paddle out of my bag it would not go beyond Valerie's limits. I like the different sensation that a paddle imparts and if I give a long hand spanking, my hand gets sore. After all, a spanking is supposed to hurt the bottom, not the top, which is why there are spanking paddles. Valerie had no objection to being paddled, so I booked an hour and a half session with her for Saturday.
Dreams Inc. is very concerned about security, which is good for the women who work there but is awkward for a first time customer. When you are a first time customer the booking is done by the woman you're seeing. Then you confirm over the phone with Dreams Inc.. I confirmed on Friday. They wanted me to get directions from them on Saturday, but I pointed out that I would have to be on the road, driving there, by the time they started answering the phone. So they gave me directions to a International House of Pancakes restaurant nearby. From there I was to call to get the final directions. I don't know why they do this or what added security it provides. After all, they don't know where I'm calling from, since I called on a cell phone.
Getting to the IHOP took me almost exactly and hour. When I called they gave me directions from the next freeway exit. Dreams Inc. is located in a two story house with a tree shaded front yard. The neighborhood is an ethnically mixed working class neighborhood. Across the street there is a little market that had some people hanging out in front of it.
Dreams Inc. is equally anonymous when they answer the doorbell. A young woman opened the door four or five inches. I told her that my names was Case and that I was there for a session with Valerie. The woman who answered the door ushered me into a small curtained area and told me that Valerie would seem me shortly and shut the curtain. The curtain did not go all the way to the floor, so you can see people go by. I saw a pair of shapely bare legs in high heels pass by. Another man came in and waited in an area next to mine.
Valerie came in a few minutes later. "Hello, Darling", Valerie said when she walked into the little waiting area. Then she gave me a hug, which put me at ease. Valerie was welcoming and open, which made letting my guard down easier for me.
Valerie is a petite, woman, five feet two inches tall, according to her web page. She has dark wavy hair of the kind that drives some women crazy because it is difficult to manage. She was wearing a very short plaid skirt. The red and black plaid fabric just covered Valerie's bottom. With the little skirt, Valerie wore a tight white blouse with short puffy sleeves. She had a plaid ribbon in her hair. She was wearing white socks with lace tops and black high heeled platform shoes. Her outfit was a perfect rendition of the naughty school girl look, except for her shoes (I'm not a big fan of the current fad in platform shoes).
Valerie asked me fill out a little pink card which had questions about the kind of session I was looking for ("topping in a spanking session"), health problems and whether I agreed to be discrete. I used my nom de fesse, Case Wintermute. I think that most people at Dreams Inc. use an alias (I'm pretty sure that Valerie's birth name is not Valerie). After I filled out the card Valerie said that I could give her my "donation". I don't know why the woman's fee is referred to as a "donation". There is probably a legal reason, perhaps to maintain the illusion that they are not charging an hourly rate, but that you're contributing money for their time. It is too bad that they have to jump through these hoops. There should be no difference between paying an hourly fee for a lawyer's time or for a young woman's time so you can give her a spanking. Except that the young woman is a lot more fun that the lawyer.
I gave Valerie an envelop and she disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, she lead me upstairs. There are those little bells that you find at hotel front desks to summon someone placed in the hall and up the stairs. As Valerie walked in front of me, she lightly hit each of the bells so that other women with customers would know that we were coming to assure that customers would not meet in passing.
The room Valerie reserved had a small table in one corner, a mirrored wall and a platform bed against the wall opposite the mirrors. The window had shutters and a curtain. The ceiling in the room was fairly high, perhaps ten feet. Framing part of the room where steel beams with two beams that ran across the room, overhead. There was a small electric motor that was unplugged and had its cord coiled up. Some ropes hung on one wall, but there were no spanking toys. When we went in, the room was noticeably cool and Valerie turned off the air-conditioning and turned on a little heater.
I had brought a backpack with three wood paddles, two spanking straps and a leather paddle. I put the spanking implements out on the table.
"These are beautiful, but evil", Valerie said as she stroked the hardwood paddles.
Valerie had also brought a little basket with a couple of leather paddles, a small flogger and a sort of yardstick like paddle. I did not like these as much as my paddles, although in retrospect one of the leather paddles might have been fun.
Valerie and I talked a bit about spanking and spanking scenes that I liked. I mentioned that there is a sort of "secret language of spankos" that seems to be shared by people who are obsessed with spanking. One of the litmus tests for true spankos, I told Valerie, was that they looked up spanking in the dictionary repeatedly when they were growing up and always got a secret thrill when spanking was mentioned.
"I remember reading a book when I was a girl where the character was going to get a spanking and then, because of a plot twist, didn't", Valerie told me. "I through 'hey, that's not fair, they should have gotten spanked'".
While we talked Valerie put sheets on the bed. There is no overt sex in these sessions, but I guess that this is just to keep everything clean between customers.
I was a bit nervous. Meeting a stranger and having her her undress for you so you can give her a spanking is an experience I'd never had before. Although I remained dressed during the entire session, giving a spanking is an intimate activity. Giving a spanking brings the person I'm spanking near a core part of me.
After Valerie and I had talked about spanking for a while, I said "Shall we get started young lady" and motioned for Valerie to lie across my lap. I flipped up her skirt. She was wearing sheer pastel pink panties over a pastel pink thong. I love the way a woman's bottom looks through sheer panties, both naked and covered at the same time.
I started to rub Valerie's back, caressing her bottom and her thighs. Valerie has a cute little bottom, and lovely legs.
There is a scene in the Japanese movie Chushingura where an old man, Lord Kira, who works for the Shogun, is caressing two young women. Kira is an evil, haggish, greedy bastard, so the viewer shudders a bit as this old man caresses the beautiful young women. Kira says that when he touches the women, he feels young again. By caressing them he captures a bit of their youth. Struggling with middle age, I feel like I can understand how Kira felt. Caressing Valerie's bottom and thighs, I could feel her youth and life. At the same time, I felt ashamed, seeing myself for a moment like Kira. I am literally old enough to be Valerie's father. I am constantly fighting my waistline and the bags under my eyes have bags. The only reason that this lovely young woman was over my lap with her skirt pulled up was because I paid her to do it. This reinforces the idea that I'm no longer desirable. Paying for something means that you can't get it for free and I think that this is why some men resent sex workers.
This desire to touch the vitality of a young woman is a symptom of middle age. I don't want to leave my wife for a younger woman (or any woman, for that matter). Unless the young woman is exceptional, I don't want to have a relationship with a woman in her twenties. There's just too much of an age gap. And yet I loved spanking and caressing Valerie, in part because of her youth. She was like a rose that has newly opened.
I started giving Valerie a light hand spanking, alternating cheeks and mixing the slaps with caresses. Once I started to spank her, most of my nervousness went away. I had an hour and a half session. You can't spank someone for an hour and a half, so I took my time. Valerie's panties only covered about half of each cheek, so in effect I was giving her a bare bottom spanking. When I gave Valerie harder slaps, she gave out little cries. We did not do a lot of role play, but I told her that I was going to spank her for procrastination, since almost everyone is guilty of this sin. Those who are not, get spanked for being so much better than the rest of us. Valerie made no claim to being one of the few non-procrastinators.
After spanking Valerie for a while, I pulled her panties down (leaving her thong in place). I could see myself reflected in the mirrors, with Valerie over my lap. She looked lovely with her panties around the middle of her thighs. I started spanking Valerie's bare bottom, alternating cheeks, giving her sets of slaps and with breaks in between as I caressed her. She gave little cries and clenched her bottom as the slaps stung her. I loved the way her bare buttocks felt under my hand as I spanked her, but my hand started to get sore. I told Valerie that I was sure that her bottom was starting to sting since my hand was was starting to hurt. I reminded her that a spanking is supposed to hurt the young lady, not the person giving her the spanking.
I picked up the leather paddle and started patting Valerie's bottom with it. This paddle is a wide loop of leather, with a leather handle, and is about 18" long. It has a plastic stiffener inside it. The paddle hurts a bit more than a hard hand spanking. Valerie said that she liked the way it felt, especially when I used the paddle on alternating buttocks. I would give her a few smacks across her bottom with the paddle and then rub her back or caress her bottom or her thighs. After a few minutes of this I asked her to undress for me.
When a woman undresses for a man it is choreographed, whether she thinks of it consciously or not. Valerie faced me and slipped off her skirt and panties (but leaving her thong on). Then she took off her blouse. She was wearing a sheer pastel pink bra that matched her panties and thong, covering her small breasts. She seemed to have very little nervousness about undressing in front of me. She put her cloths on the table and lay across my lap again. Throughout the spanking I rubbed her back a lot because she seemed to like it. I unhooked her bra so I could rub all the way down her spine. After spanking Valerie more with the leather paddle, I asked her to get me the ruler paddle. I love making a girl get the implement that she's going to be spanked with. Valerie took off her bra and when she lay back over my lap she was naked except for her thong.
I started giving Valerie a few light smacks with the ruler paddle. I could tell form the way she reacted that she found the ruler paddle more painful than either my hand or the leather paddle. I spanked her in little sets, giving her four smacks across her bare bottom and then a rest as I caressed her, before giving her more. As I noted, with an hour and half to give a spanking there's lots of time for talking and caressing. Her bottom was blushed pink, but was not red. I informed Valerie that I was clearly not spanking her very hard because her bottom was not red. She plaintively suggested that pink was a shade of red, which I thought was very cute.
I had Valerie over my lap the whole time and her legs were together. As the spanking got harder I could feel Valerie sink into a sort of dreamy state. I would give her a smack with the ruler paddle and I could feel the pain ringing in her like a bell. I caressed the backs of her thighs between spankings, but did not try to caress her between her legs. My understanding is that the girls pussy is officially out of bounds, since this might be seen as offering sex for money.
When I gave Valerie harder strokes with the ruler paddle, especially when I spanked her across the tops of her thighs, she would clench her buttocks and straighten her legs as the pain washed over her. I waited until she had relaxed again, caressing her bottom with the smooth wood of the paddle before giving her another smack. I started telling her how many smacks I was going to give her, so she would know how many she would have to get through. One of the things I like about thong panties is the way the thong spreads the buttocks a little. There is that soft skin on the inside edge of the buttock, in the cleft. Between spankings I ran the back of my fingers over this soft skin, then down over her thighs.
When I started spanking her, Valerie and I would talk between sets of smacks as I caressed her. As the spanking got more intense and I spanked her harder, with the ruler paddle, but also with the leather paddle and my hand, she seemed to sink into the sensation more and more. She would give little cries as I spanked her, but did not say anything. If the smack was hard she would breath in rapidly and I started to breath along with her. As I spanked her I told her that she was a good girl for taking her spanking for me. Valerie said that the pain of a spanking is not erotic for her, but it was certainly sensual. When I think of Valerie taking her spanking, I think of her flowing and floating with the feeling. As I spanked Valerie, her bottom got sore and she gave little cries, even for relatively light strokes.
I brought a paddle that I told Valerie I called the "Scary Paddle", since it really hurts. The paddle is shaped like a paddle ball paddle, but it's made out of hardwood. Beautiful and, in Valerie's words, evil. I was watching the time as I was spanking Valerie. I told her that I wanted to finish her spanking with the "Scary Paddle". When we had about twenty minutes left I asked her to bring me the paddle. She did so with lovely trepidation. I don't know if it was acted or not. By that time she understood that I am a caring sadist. She handed me the paddle and then lay over my lap to take her spanking.
I only gave her a few sets of smacks with the "Scary Paddle", with lots of time between. I also gave her some hand spanking, along with the paddling. The skin across her cheeks where I had been spanking her was deep pink and was starting to get that swollen well spanked feel. Valerie was in a dreamy state. I leaned over and told her that, sadly, all good things come to an end and that her spanking was over. I kissed her hair once and rubbed her back and held her, letting her start to come out of the sensation she was swimming in. When she started to get up she said "this is where I try to stand".
Valerie got up from my lap, keeling next to me on the bed. She stretched, her arms up behind her head. It reminded me of a cat stretching. She has small pink nipples and they looked like they were erect. I told Valerie that she looked lovely.
Valerie got dressed and I put the paddles and straps in my backpack. She walked in front of me, down stairs, after making sure that no one was in the hall. As we went down the stairs I heard faint cries from a closed room, like someone was getting a spanking, although I did not hear the sound of buttocks being smacked. There are, of course, other ways to cause erotic pain than spanking.
Spanking Valerie made me feel elated. Later, when I was driving home on the on the freeway, I could not remember if I had left a paddle at Dreams Inc. (fortunately I didn't). The spanking I gave Valerie did not have the intense sexuality of the spankings that I gave my wife in the past. But spanking Valerie touched me deeply. I think that Valerie enjoyed it too. I don't think that I would have felt her flowing and floating through the pain the way I did if this were not true.
July 2007